My Mother Earth Experience
My own experience with the Mother Earth Project has been a healing one. In “Freeing Athena“, I wrote about a very real experience I had with Athena and Gaia where Gaia was calling out to Athena practically begging her to rise and begin healing the world. This was a very personal experience but one that was also a timely and important message. It feels very vulnerable to talk about this because I know there are many hateful and doubtful people in the world, and I get attacked by them at times, but I do believe the Goddess is rising in this world, and I do believe She is the key to saving us.
Let me clarify, I believe the rise of the Goddess will heal what has been done on this Earth, and her rising and union with God will save us. And, even though I have been target practice for many of those hateful and doubtful people, my experience with the Mother Earth Project has helped me to heal some of what I have been through – helping me to accept positive things like Love and Hope into my life and to also put those Gifts out into the world.
In the video below, you will see what the stones I created meant to me. How some of them brought healing energy to me, how some of them were talismans of healing energy that I put out into the world, and how some were gifts of gratitude for certain places because of the gifts those places gave to me. For the first time in my life, I am finally allowing my truest self to come out of my shell, which is truly amazing mostly because I wasn’t aware that I was hiding her … “Hidden in darkness, in plain sight, the Light will Rise, a Shining Beacon in the Darkest Night.” (from an old unpublished novel I wrote.)
My Mother and Father (and the Religions of Men)
What I have found within myself over the last few years is someone that I could not have found without the help of Goddess energy, and that is why I needed to dedicate this project to our Earth Mother. For the first time in my life, I feel like I have a Mother who wishes happiness, love and so much more for me. She sees me. She hears me. She knows me, and She Loves Me!
And, it was the Goddess who helped me to find my way back to God. It was She who showed me who God really is. God is not the vengeful, hateful, egotistical monster some would have us believe. Though, if this offends you, and you would rather believe that He is those things … that is your choice. However, the Goddess has shown me that God is a loving Father.
For the first time in my life, I am finally starting to feel what it is like to have loving parents, and that is an experience I will not let go of anytime soon. My own spiritual path is a very personal and eclectic one. I believe that every person is entitled to walk their own path, and that is how they will find their own Truth.
The Religions of Men have shown me great unkindness and hypocrisy, and my Truth has become this: Religions, whether they be New Age or Old probably all carry some Truth, though all the religions I have experienced have been manipulated by mankind’s greed and need for power. Overall, many have long forgotten much Truth. A spiritual path can include a religion or even a study of many religions, though it does not require a religion. Spirituality is a path walked by a seeker of Truth and Spiritual Wisdom and includes experiences of a very personal nature. My path and personal experiences started at a very young age, and those experiences are priceless. I understand that Faith might be difficult for those who have not had their own experiences, and maybe that’s where religion comes in. It is the belief in other people’s experiences. But, when you have your own experiences, Faith is something that is difficult to shake.
It is perfectly okay to disagree with everything I have said here, but I am going to be who I am now. This is me! And, I am no longer going to be target practice for jerks! Remember, Jesus was not very happy when people abused his temple either!!! This website, this space online, is something that I have built for you at great cost to myself and my family. We made great sacrifices to bring you this work … we lost our house, actually! I was supporting this website with our personal money for a long time before I had advertising on the site, and I was offering too many readings for free and half-price (because people said they couldn’t afford it). I didn’t know my worth, and I felt bad for people. I gave away too much at the expense of my family. Yes, I know I was likely being taken advantage of in many cases. And, my “too niceness” also contributed to my current health challenges. It started with migraines, and health expenses added up … which eventually resulted in a second mortgage on that house, and some people were really angry and mean when I finally stopped offering personal readings due to those health challenges.
But, creating this work was something that meant a great deal to me. I felt that it was my duty to do so, and it was maybe even the first version of an angel card reading app to be created. (It was definitely created before any of those apps existed.) I knew that I would not be able to keep up with what I was doing to myself, and I was really trying to help people one on one to understand the cards as I did, but it wasn’t enough – not even with the classes I was teaching. Creating this space online was an effort to help others to see what I could see myself. I felt that it was my mission to help others rise, to help them connect to who they are … to remember and to communicate with the higher versions of themselves and with Heaven. I didn’t realize the depth of it at the time, but I knew it all the way to my soul that I needed to keep working at creating this site, so I kept working no matter the cost. The cost was higher than I could have expected.
There are still people who continue to tear me down no matter what I do. I create a project on Beauty, but all they see is ugliness. I write an angel card description on Father Healing, and they see that I for some reason hate all fathers. Some people just choose to see darkness no matter how hard you try to shine your light.
But, I see myself now … I have Heavenly parents who love and support me. I understand my Gifts better and see that they were being misused by those who were actually taking advantage of me. And, wow do I see how people tried to and many times successfully used and manipulated me as a child. It makes me so very sad that those people did what they did, but they did make me who I am today, and I have become much stronger than I was. I will no longer be anyone’s punching bag, dart board, dirt mat or anything else … I am worth so much more than that!!! But, I understand that was a path I needed to take so that I could see what is True …
This is a big problem in this world for many women … how many of you out there have been treated this way? How many women out there have been treated like garbage by men (or even other women)? This is a deep trauma that keeps getting passed on from woman to woman, from generation to generation. We keep passing on the pain, but isn’t it time we dissolve it? Isn’t it time we transform that trauma into something better?
Some men get off on beating down women, and some women make it their personal mission in life to beat down on other women. For some reason, it makes them feel more powerful to hurt others. So, how do we stop these jerks? Well, some people might not like it, but boundaries are a start … that’s why I am becoming a “take no crap” kind of girl. Yes, I am spiritual, but that does not mean that I should have to allow people coming into my space flingin’ monkey poo all over the place and just be like, “Awe, how sweet! Thanks for stopping by!” Nope! I will tell you to do better! Better behavior should be expected here! I am not going to allow myself, my staff, my family or any of our other website visitors to be treated like crap. Just because I’m a nice, spiritual person does NOT mean that I have to take crap from people. Yes, I am compassionate! Yes, I am kind! But, if you come into my space and make an ass of yourself, you get Athena – not Kwan Yin!
And, I think this is a journey meant for ALL WOMEN! I think we all need to connect with the Divine Feminine within ourselves, and I believe that connection is VERY important in healing our world. When Jesus was murdered, it wasn’t just an aspect of the Divine Masculine that was killed. Jesus was a soul in perfect balance with the Divine within himself – masculine AND feminine. On top of that, his mother had to watch her son be tortured and murdered. Can you imagine anything that would kill a mother more? Mary, mother of Christ, and Mary Magdalene were both aspects of the Divine Feminine … and I promise you that witnessing this horrific trauma killed a part of both of them. And horrible atrocities have continued for two thousand years … sometimes even in the name of God! We could go on and on, but I’m sure you know what I mean if you’re paying attention even a little bit. Things are getting crazier for women by the day!
There are several churches in my area that are dedicated to female saints, and I have witnessed them all slap the Feminine in the face with their words and deeds. Sometimes I wonder if this world even remembers what the Divine Feminine is, if they have any idea what is Holy anymore … Do they Remember what is Sacred to the Feminine? God/dess chose woman to be the gateway into this world, but this world wants to control and hold back women in every way possible!
Of course, they’ve been slapping God in the face for centuries as well. Too many have forgotten that Jesus did not hate his neighbors or the poor. I feel His sadness in my own heart like an anchor in the deepest ocean. How can they honestly believe that Jesus would approve of the words and actions being said and done in His name today?
Our MOTHER is asking us to REMEMBER WHO WE ARE!!!
Art has been a healing balm to my own soul, allowing me to express the pain I have endured, and empowering my soul to embrace the Gifts I have given to others as ones to accept for myself as well. Art has become an expression of the pain in my soul, and I cannot express enough how important soul expression is to those who carry soul deep pain. I honestly believe it can save lives! I am finally at the point where I am painting on canvas for the first time in my life, when before I would just look at it in the store thinking that my work isn’t good enough for canvas.
If you or someone you know is at all depressed or dealing with deep emotional or even physical pain, I would highly recommend encouraging them to express their soul in some way … through music, dance, art … some kind of creative expression … even if it’s something they never plan to show anyone. Actually, I started with journaling because it was the safest way to get out the pain in a private way. (I hope this helps someone out there. This is how I began to break out of myself.)
No Longer a Sacrifice
My whole life, I have been sacrificing myself to make others happy or to not “rock the boat”. It started when I was very young … people who should have loved me sacrificed me over and over again, and then I eventually learned how to sacrifice myself. I didn’t even realize I was doing it most times. A therapist had to point this out to me. I believed that I was not worthy of happiness or the least bit of joy for so many reasons … I wasn’t even supposed to be born for Heaven’s sake! My birth destroyed lives! As a child, if it seemed that I loved one family member more than another, certain people got angry and bad things happened. If I tried to make things better or to save myself from pain, things only got worse for me. So, I learned to just take the pain and accept the blame. I learned to be the sacrifice.
Even as an adult, I can see how people have knowingly taken advantage of me or manipulated my kindness. Sometimes it might have been an effort to control me, other times it might have been to get something from me or to gain an advantage. But, this has gone on long enough! My time of sacrifice is over!
I will be sacrificed no longer! And, this is not about being selfish! It is about survival! My Father and Mother have made it clear, though it has taken several years and repeated messages, that my time of sacrifice is over. It is time for me to love myself and to accept love in my life and all the way into my soul. Yes, there have been very hurtful people (some whom my therapist literally referred to as “evil” – People of the Lie) in my life, but I am NO LONGER THEIR SACRIFICE! I have paid their price long enough, and it’s time for them to get their own sh*t together because I cannot carry the entire world for everyone. If they choose hatred, jealousy, ignorance and outright EVIL, I will NOT pay their price! I expect better treatment, and I expect better behavior of those who come into my life and into my space, and I hope every woman reading this is brave enough to expect the same for herself, too!
It is my hope with this piece to speak up for myself, the pain that I leave behind, and for the women who are still being mistreated. It is my hope to bring HOPE into the world for all women and the Divine Feminine as a whole. I hope that we find strength in ourselves and each other, that we will lift each other up instead of feeling the need to tear each other down.
Even if you are not a “mother” yourself, I see all women as “Mothers of the Earth” because we are the gatekeepers of this realm and because we are the embodiment of the Divine Feminine. Maybe you are a sister, aunt, fur mom, friend, teacher …. you are Divine, and you have the POWER to MAKE A DIFFERENCE! You are here for a reason – especially now! All sorts of things are going down right now, and that means things can change for the better!!!
If you are a man, please don’t feel left out. If you read my Athena article, you already know the Divine Feminine can rise in men as well, and I’m not letting you off the hook! Are you a brother, uncle, fur dad, dad, friend, husband, teacher? Do you have women in your life? Do you embody the Divine Feminine? (Yes, that is very possible … and, if so, you are very important to this world!) And, if you embody the Divine Masculine, make sure you are balanced in your energy because we need you as well. We all need to work together for the betterment of Humanity!
I am Re and She is Me
Connecting with the Goddess has given me the courage to be myself … the truest and most real version of ME, but I had to do some travelling with HER to get to that version of ME first. In deciding to be ME, I am changing my name on this website. Sheri is my real first name, given to me by my grandfather on the day I was born. He was given the honor of naming be because I was born on his birthday.
A few months before he died, Grandpa told me that he had given me that name because of a friend with the same name and made a very clear point that he no longer cared for that friend. Inside, I felt like Grandpa was telling me that he no longer liked me, and that has been a pain I have carried. I used to very much be Grandpa’s girl. He was the closest thing to a father I had ever known … until one day he decided that I couldn’t live with him and Grandma anymore. You see, when I had to leave the university I was attending because my church betrayed me and spread a horrible and untrue lie, I had been living with my grandparents when I would come home. Unfortunately, Grandpa had believed the lie, so I also became homeless. I’m sure he knows the Truth now, but those words Grandpa said that day … that he no longer cared for that friend made me feel that he no longer loved me either. It broke my heart, and I have felt detached from my name ever since that day.
I feel detached from the Reverend in my name as well. Yes, I am an ordained minister. However, I do not perform weddings and have no interest in doing so. I will probably perform child “baptisms/blessings” of a sort in the future and have done those before. Using the title of Reverend has helped people to feel more comfortable – even those who have been abused by their own religions, but I feel disconnected from that title because of the abuse I have endured by religions myself. I believe that we are all children of the same universe, and I accept all children of the universe as Children of Heaven – no matter their religion. Besides, titles don’t make us who we are … our hearts do!
Re is the name that those closest to me have been calling me for years – even before I became a mother. It is a name used by those who love me most – a name filled with love, protection, and sometimes more knowledge about me than I know myself. It is a name more true to ME than any other.
When I first began offering my services online, I purposely did not use my last name. Partly, it was to offer some protection to my identity, though I still ended up with a stalker and people showing up to my house unannounced. There was also another reason.
Another reason I did not use my real last name was because of shame … I thought that if I ever finally met my biological father and his family, and they were to find out what I did for a living, they would assume that I am evil or something. This fear was created in me over time by the people in my life … my family members and other experiences that I’d had. Honestly, it probably had something to do with past life and genetic memories as well.
The TRUTH is that I have NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF … who I am is BEAUTIFUL, and I am SO GRATEFUL that I CAN FINALLY SEE! For years, I have been following my own guidance, learning things that I should not have had any way of knowing … only to find that it was in my blood all along!!! My family told me that I was evil … and they were betraying their own ancestors in doing so! Now, those ancestors are my allies!!! My family can say what they will; I will not allow anyone to disrespect our ancestors! I know who I am, and I will walk my path knowing that I am never alone. <3 I will also say that, when I invited female family members to my home to paint rocks with intentions, they did seem open to learning. So, maybe there is hope for them yet!
Sadly, my greatest fear has come to pass … I met my biological father and his family, and it certainly does seem to appear that they believe I am some kind of evil thing. So, I have nothing left to lose. I am going to be who I am … because I am not evil. They have chosen not to see me, chosen not to hear me, and I have to be okay with that. I have to honor their Free Will choices. I cannot control the choices other people make, the assumptions other people make. But, I CAN NO LONGER ALLOW ANYONE TO HURT ME WITH THEIR IGNORANCE!
I am Re and She is ME! I will continue to learn about who I am, and I will honor every part of myself because I can finally see that I am worthy … of love, respect, kindness, happiness and so many other good things that I have not allowed for myself in the past. I have chosen to honor the Earth Mother because she called out to me to do so, and I have bonded with Her. I have co-created with Her, honored Her. I was born of water, called to rise with the Eagle of air and Heaven and then burned to ash by those who did not know better, but the fire of the Phoenix burns in my veins. Now that I have bonded with Earth, I will create what I can … with hope, love, faith and joy.
It is difficult, though. Every day is a battle. Every day, I don’t know what level of pain I will wake up to. Will I be able to walk more than a few steps today? Will I be able to function? But, I keep going … because I am a mother and there are other people in this world that I care about … and someone needs to do something. I don’t know if what I create will make a difference, but I’ll never know if I don’t try. So, I will keep going. I will keep fighting every day through the pain to create on the days that I can. I will do my best to help lift others up because we can’t give up.
For those who can see and hear me, I wish you all Love and Blessings! <3
P.S. You can help! The end date for our Mother Earth Project Contest is June 30th, 2019 (Learn More Here!)